My Not So Perfect Life

Hello everybody yet again! After what seems like ages (7 months to be precise) I am here again writing my heart out. It’s more like a rant this time? Sort of summarizing what I have been going through in these past seven months. So, let me just start firing my heart out while you try to bear with me.

Lives on Instagram and Facebook look so perfect, don’t they? We have the most immaculate houses, the best dresses, the best husbands and the most tamed children for whom we are ready to make our ovaries get to work!

I don’t know about others, but my life is a mess behind this picture-perfect platform. There are days when my house is worse than the collective garbage area under our apartment. Days when I don’t feel like doing a single chore and just sit and do nothing. There are times when I skip on meals all together because I just don’t have the energy to prepare myself a basic meal. There are times when I curse myself for not having a driving license because either the knife-sharp wind is cutting through my body or the sexy Strayan sun is burning my skin per second spent waiting for the bus at the bus stops.

There are times when you want something so very bad, but all the bills, uni fee, and the budgeting pops up before your eye. There are times when I just want to quit and leave everything and just go into hiding. There are days and times when you have to compromise on so many things because of the other relationships you are tied down with. You have to entertain people whom you don’t like one bit but have to smile and wave through because you have to. There is a constant interference in your life which you hate and you can’t do much about it because your mum thinks it’s better to stay shush and listen to the crap. You see people judging you for no reason and giving you ultay seedhay mashwaray just because they can. People telling you what to do in your life, how to wear your hair, when to have kids, why not to have kids, how to fix jootian of your susral and how to compromise on any and everything in life. Don’t even get me started on the kids! I don’t understand why are people so interested in others sexual life and be the decision makers of when a couple should have babies. They concoct lame stuff and throw it upon your situation irrespective of the fact that how disturbing it can be for the other person. You are living a socially isolated life because you don’t have any people you can genuinely call friends in a new country and don’t have a person with whom you can talk your heart out.

There are days when you battle so much depression that your body and mind cannot handle it. You are so sick yet the doctor fails to understand what is wrong with you! I have had days when I have cried all day long and wiped my face before my husband comes back home to welcome him as if nothing is wrong. The problem with this life is that you have to get up at the end of the day, and make it through somehow because you know there is no escape from this ugly part of the life.