Living an Antisocial Life

You don’t really realize the true worth of good friends until you don’t have easy access to them anymore. Generally, we take our friends for granted; I used the term because that’s how I think we render them. We know if they are mad at us, a surprise visit to their home will fix it. If we haven’t met them in months, we know one weekend or even at a scheduled hour, we can catch up with them. We know we can give them a call anytime and blare our hearts out. We might not even meet them for months or at times even years, but we know whenever we will meet them, things will pick up from right where we left them. You can do all the buraiyan, gossips, and zanana mashwaray with them. You can totally check out the guys despite your marital status and kids crying in your lap along with making fun of the makeup of the aunty sitting behind you while your own face looks like a burnt chapatti.

I am by default an anti-social person. When I say anti-social, I mean I don’t like meeting new people in person especially when the person is question has no direct link to me. I am good at making conversations with strangers, with the “bhabis” who are Mr’s friends’ wives, with aunties who are again Mr’s friends’ mummies, with our neighbours who all belong to different countries with not a single common string between us other than the fact that we live in the same building, with my colleagues at work and the awesome ladies who I visit for my waxing and face denting painting solutions. BUT I cannot, simply cannot call anyone of them my friends. I have to make nice little conversations with them because I have to. It’s more like a social obligation because I don’t want to come off as a rude person. If I will spot any one of them in a mall or at the grocery store, I would prefer changing my path as I don’t know what I will say to them in a setting which is out of the box of our regular meeting situations. It just makes me very uncomfortable though I might be coming off as a rude ass but sadly that is who I am.

It has been almost two years I have moved to a new country; a country I am still struggling to find a right space in, get comfortable in and call my home. Maybe I am just a dumb person for not enjoying the moment; thinking too much about the past and fretting too much about the future while missing out totally the present. In a wind whirl life which I live here, a few people I miss the most are my friends. Though I am bad at making new friends, the set of friends I have is based on people with whom I have spent a lot of time. I have some amazing friends from when I was in school, most of them married now, some single, some with multiple kids. It was amazing when we could catch up every month, sit and talk about all the rishta crap, fret about our own shadian, do buraian of even each other! I just miss those times so bad! Then I have some amazing people in my life whom I befriended in university. God the amazing and crazy times we have shared! It was two amazing years and a lifetime of friendship I earned with those super amazing human beings. My last set of friends pops from my workplace. I just adore those girls and though I haven’t caught up in the longest time with them, I know I will always love them bad!

Probably you can assume from my whining session how much I miss my friends. It was not that I was meeting them every day back at home provided I had the busiest work routine back then, but at least I had easy access to most of them. Now the time difference alone messes up everything. When you are free, you know they won’t be, and when they are free, you are in the sleep-land trying to fight off those pesky rishtaydaar of yours in your sleep. And when you are an antisocial creep like me, you end up being all alone when you move to a new place. There are times when I get frustrated seeing others hanging out together, bunch of desi women hopping on and off from buses, busy chatting away or having a date at the coffee shops; but the fault lies in me entirely. I need to be more social and at least try to keep up with the people I know. Till then, I miss you bad my good old friends! You know who you guys are! Much love :*

My Not So Perfect Life

Hello everybody yet again! After what seems like ages (7 months to be precise) I am here again writing my heart out. It’s more like a rant this time? Sort of summarizing what I have been going through in these past seven months. So, let me just start firing my heart out while you try to bear with me.

Lives on Instagram and Facebook look so perfect, don’t they? We have the most immaculate houses, the best dresses, the best husbands and the most tamed children for whom we are ready to make our ovaries get to work!

I don’t know about others, but my life is a mess behind this picture-perfect platform. There are days when my house is worse than the collective garbage area under our apartment. Days when I don’t feel like doing a single chore and just sit and do nothing. There are times when I skip on meals all together because I just don’t have the energy to prepare myself a basic meal. There are times when I curse myself for not having a driving license because either the knife-sharp wind is cutting through my body or the sexy Strayan sun is burning my skin per second spent waiting for the bus at the bus stops.

There are times when you want something so very bad, but all the bills, uni fee, and the budgeting pops up before your eye. There are times when I just want to quit and leave everything and just go into hiding. There are days and times when you have to compromise on so many things because of the other relationships you are tied down with. You have to entertain people whom you don’t like one bit but have to smile and wave through because you have to. There is a constant interference in your life which you hate and you can’t do much about it because your mum thinks it’s better to stay shush and listen to the crap. You see people judging you for no reason and giving you ultay seedhay mashwaray just because they can. People telling you what to do in your life, how to wear your hair, when to have kids, why not to have kids, how to fix jootian of your susral and how to compromise on any and everything in life. Don’t even get me started on the kids! I don’t understand why are people so interested in others sexual life and be the decision makers of when a couple should have babies. They concoct lame stuff and throw it upon your situation irrespective of the fact that how disturbing it can be for the other person. You are living a socially isolated life because you don’t have any people you can genuinely call friends in a new country and don’t have a person with whom you can talk your heart out.

There are days when you battle so much depression that your body and mind cannot handle it. You are so sick yet the doctor fails to understand what is wrong with you! I have had days when I have cried all day long and wiped my face before my husband comes back home to welcome him as if nothing is wrong. The problem with this life is that you have to get up at the end of the day, and make it through somehow because you know there is no escape from this ugly part of the life.

Hello from Desi in Pardes

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Starks of Winterfell and all the Potter-heads out there! After 5 full blown months of starting the so-called blog on instagram, I am finally writing down a post to start the blog officially! Much excited? Me, YES; you guys? Well time will tell! Anywhoo just a tad bit of introduction about me and what you guys will see (read: endure) at my sexay blog! So starting off with about me, as the name of the blog tells you I am a desi in pardes; a Pakistani living in Australia. I am a 20 something years old (you can think of me as being 21 for which I would love you very much!) and moved to Straya more than a year back. I have a hate-hate relationship with it till now; and I will be giving you guys glimpses of my expat life, the problems I had, am and will be facing while settling here (YES, I still have not settled here fully), my sexy life routine, makeup products, food scene in down-under and random bawling sessions. I currently live with my adopted child (read: hubby) and am studying and working along with taming him. Hoping to see some love and pappis (kisses) from ya guys!

Much love,

Desi in Pardes.